Write a letter to your friend who asked you to give some suggestion to his son is coming to your country.
Write a letter to your friend who asked you to give some suggestion to his son is coming to your country. Tell him which city he should go to, how he can get a job, and how he can make friends. |
Dear John,
Hope you are doing well. Thanks for asking me about your son’s visit to my country. I think he should come to Toronto because it is a good city. There are many jobs here and people are friendly.
For a job, he can search online or go to companies and ask. He should also make a good resume. It will help him get a job.
To make friends, he can join clubs or go to social events. People in Toronto are nice, so he will not have problems.
Let me know if he needs more help.
Best regards,
Sven Khadka
IELTS Letter (Band 7 Version)
Dear John,
I hope this letter finds you well. Thank you for reaching out to me regarding your son’s upcoming visit to Canada. After considering various options, I strongly recommend that he settles in Toronto, as it is a multicultural and economically vibrant city with ample opportunities for young professionals.
Regarding employment, I suggest that he explores online job portals such as LinkedIn or Indeed, as most companies post vacancies there. Additionally, he should tailor his resume to Canadian standards and consider networking through local professional groups, which could significantly improve his chances of securing a job.
As for making friends, Toronto offers numerous social opportunities. He could join hobby-based clubs, attend community events, or even participate in language exchange meetups if he wants to improve his English. Canadians are generally welcoming, so he should have no trouble building a social circle.
Please feel free to ask if he requires any further assistance. I’d be more than happy to help.
Warm regards,
Sven Khadka
Band 5 Letter (With Problems Highlighted)
Dear John,
1. Opening line (too informal & vague)
❌ “Hope you are doing well.”
2. Response to request (lacks warmth & detail)
❌ “Thanks for asking me about your son’s visit to my country.”
3. City suggestion (basic reasoning, weak vocabulary)
❌ “I think he should come to Toronto because it is a good city.”
4. Job advice (too general, lacks specifics)
❌ “For a job, he can search online or go to companies and ask.”
❌ “He should also make a good resume.” (Spelling mistake: “resume” → “résumé” or “CV”)
5. Making friends (vague suggestions)
❌ “To make friends, he can join clubs or go to social events.”
❌ “People in Toronto are nice, so he will not have problems.” (Too simplistic)
6. Closing (abrupt & informal)
❌ “Let me know if he needs more help.”
Band 7 Letter (With Explanations for Each Improvement)
Dear John,
✅ 1. Stronger opening (more formal & engaging)
✔ “I hope this letter finds you well.”
🔹 Why better? More natural and polite than “Hope you are doing well.”
✅ 2. Acknowledges request warmly (shows enthusiasm)
✔ “Thank you for reaching out to me regarding your son’s upcoming visit to Canada.”
🔹 Why better? “Reaching out” and “upcoming visit” sound more professional than “asking me about.”
✅ 3. Clear city recommendation (with strong reasoning)
✔ “After considering various options, I strongly recommend that he settles in Toronto, as it is a multicultural and economically vibrant city with ample opportunities for young professionals.”
🔹 Why better?
- “Strongly recommend” sounds more confident than “I think.”
- “Multicultural and economically vibrant” is more descriptive than “good city.”
- “Ample opportunities for young professionals” gives a specific benefit.
✅ 4. Detailed job advice (practical steps)
✔ “Regarding employment, I suggest that he explores online job portals such as LinkedIn or Indeed, as most companies post vacancies there.”
🔹 Why better?
- “Regarding employment” is more formal than “For a job.”
- Names specific websites (LinkedIn, Indeed) instead of just saying “search online.”
✔ “Additionally, he should tailor his resume to Canadian standards and consider networking through local professional groups, which could significantly improve his chances of securing a job.”
🔹 Why better?
- “Tailor his resume to Canadian standards” is more precise than “make a good resume.”
- “Networking through local professional groups” is a stronger suggestion than “go to companies and ask.”
✅ 5. Better socializing tips (specific activities)
✔ “As for making friends, Toronto offers numerous social opportunities. He could join hobby-based clubs, attend community events, or even participate in language exchange meetups if he wants to improve his English.”
🔹 Why better?
- “Hobby-based clubs” is more specific than just “clubs.”
- “Language exchange meetups” is a unique and practical idea for newcomers.
✔ “Canadians are generally welcoming, so he should have no trouble building a social circle.”
🔹 Why better?
- “Building a social circle” is a more natural phrase than “make friends.”
✅ 6. Polite & warm closing (invites further contact)
✔ “Please feel free to ask if he requires any further assistance. I’d be more than happy to help.”
🔹 Why better?
- More polite and inviting than “Let me know if he needs more help.”
Key Takeaways for Band 7+ Letters
✔ Use more formal & natural phrases (e.g., “I hope this letter finds you well” instead of “Hope you are doing well.”)
✔ Give specific examples (e.g., “LinkedIn or Indeed” instead of just “search online.”)
✔ Expand explanations logically (e.g., “tailor his resume to Canadian standards” instead of “make a good resume.”)
✔ Use a wider range of vocabulary (e.g., “economically vibrant city” instead of “good city.”)
✔ Maintain a friendly yet professional tone (avoid being too casual or too robotic).